1. If the el car is packed and you are waiting on the platform, if I step off the train to let people out, don't try to get on before I re-board the train.
2. If there is one escalator up and one stair case next to it at the el station, don't go against the grain up the stairs when the rush hour crowd is trying to go down.
3. When you get dressed to fly: (a) don't wear flannel pajama bottoms; and (b) don't douse yourself in cologne or perfume, but DO shower and brush your hair.
4. Black checked pants are NOT gray and cannot be worn with a navy blazer, especially when your shirt is also black.
5. Flights to Florida are filled with people over 100 or under 2 or someone traveling with them.
That's it for now. I'm ready for Florida!
I've got you beat. Yesterday, on the bus after work, a man boarded the bus with his pants and underwear around his ankles. When the bus driver asked him to pick up his pants, he said, "I'm too drunk." The bus driver refused to move the bus until he picked up his pants and could not forcibly kick him off the bus. The guy wouldn't comply, so the driver had to call the cops. The rest of us had to wait for another bus to arrive so that we could get on that bus to continue our trip and our poor bus driver had to wait with half-naked man until the cops showed up. So, I propose a number 6. Do not expose your genitalia while on public transportation. And, if you feel the need to do so, please refrain from disrupting the before- or after-work commute with your display.
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