The porch is too cold

So, I bought all this great beer to bring back to Chicago. Problem is,
it is going to be 3 degrees tonight, not counting the wind chill.
According to the Internet, this beer would likely freeze and crack the
bottles or just plain get skunked. I could not let that happen. I
unloaded all the beer onto my mother's porch, which is not insulated.
Problem solved? Nope! The temperature on the porch is 20, which means
that the low abv session beers would still freeze. Thoughts?